Silence is Not Golden

She was five or six, Mary can’t recall but she remembers vividly what happened on several nights for the next 5 years while she shared a room with her cousin. “He would approach my bed each night” she says, “pull down my pant and …”.

“It was Christmas, 2006”, NY recounts. “After church service, my sister and I followed him home because he said he wanted to change his outfit and take us out”. Later she recalls that her mother called her sister to assist her in making dinner so she was left alone with him, he locked the door. She was 16, he was 25.

“It was early morning, I went to the staff common room to ensure that everything was in place,” says MJ, a third victim of sexual abuse. Then she met a teacher who had come in early to prepare for his class. “He asked me to help him with something, when I got close, he tried to hold my breasts”. These three women do not want to be named, they fear the stigma of sexual abuse, so for years, they have kept their experiences to themselves. They have kept silent.

Sexual abuse is a major problem around the world. ‘UN Women’ estimates that 35 percent of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or sexual violence by a non-partner at some point in their lives. In 2012, a study conducted in New Delhi, India found that 92 percent of women reported having experienced some form of sexual violence in public spaces in their lifetime.

Surveys conducted in sub-Saharan Africa reveal that 46, 60, 42 and 40 percent of Ugandan, Tanzanian, Kenyan, and Zambian women respectively report regular physical abuse. In a Nigerian survey, 81 percent of married women report being verbally or physically abused by their husbands. 46 percent report being abused in the presence of their children.

Ghana reflects the global trend but the problem with sexual abuse in Ghana is that many are not reporting it. This has made it quite difficult to estimate the true extent of the problem. However, the Ghana Police Service acknowledges that between 2000 and 2010, the number of rape incidents reported to the police dropped by almost 53 percent. In some cases, cultural factors make sexual abuse seem ‘normal’; making it hard for victims and perpetrators alike to recognise it when it happens.

In response to a reform of the criminal justice system, Ghana has signed onto many international treaties that criminalise all forms of violence against women but the laws are currently faced with a unique challenge; victims are not stepping forward.

What is Sexual Abuse?

Sexual abuse includes a wide range of actions, and the problem is gender insensitive. Esther Tawiah of the Gender Center for Empowering Development (GenCED) describes sexual abuse simply as “undesired sexual behaviour by one person upon another”. The definition she adds reflects the many actions and acts that fall under this topic.

Many women are not aware of the full list of actions that constitute sexual abuse.

For some, the mention of sexual abuse immediately takes them to the more aggravated forms such as rape and defilement. This is often reflected in the way the media reports on these issues. Many media outlets in Ghana report on rape and defilement, however, very few, if any, report on leering, and making obscene gestures. As Fauzia remarked when asked about her experience with sexual abuse, she revealed that she had not been raped before. But when it was subsequently pointed out to her that sexual abuse includes so much more, she retorted “If fondling of breast and buttocks constitute sexual abuse, then every lady is a victim”.

This shows a gap in knowledge of the extent of actions characterised as sexual abuse in Ghana, a function of normalised cultural practices coupled with the lack of education.

A society of men

On the global Gender Inequality Index (GII) Ghana ranked 131 and 139 in 2015 and 2016 respectively. There is no doubt that men and women are not the same in Ghana. Ghana, like many other countries around the world, is patriarchal. Dr Margaret Amoakohene, former director of the School of Communication Studies in 2004, found out that traditional gender norms and role definitions give men an undue sense of supremacy in several Ghanaian societies.

Although many of these roles are outmoded, they define the relationship between men and women. Some of these outmoded roles include women, especially wives submitting themselves entirely to the will of their husbands. This includes giving in to them anytime they demand sex. By extension, many men will argue that a woman cannot be sexually abused in a marriage but as has been seen with the modified domestic violence law, 2007, sexual abuse or marital rape as it is called happens and it is criminal.

Unfortunately, as pointed out in a 2017 Daily Graphic report, a decade after marital rape was criminalised, not a single spouse has been arrested under this law. Does it mean that spouses are not abused in marriage? Elizabeth Archampong who has studied the subject believes it is. She proffers that “Women are socialised to be passive and acquiescent sexual partners in marriage”. So even when marital rape does happen, they do not seek redress. Their voices are drowned in that of their husbands. Men have the final say on all matters.

The myth of Sexual Abuse

Many suffer sexual abuse in silence in Ghana. They don’t feel they can report even when they know a crime has been committed. For many women, they fear that they will be blamed for allowing the crime to take place in the first place. Phrases like “what did you go to do in his house in the first place?” are common. This belief that the victim somehow is responsible is so perverse that the Ghana Police is sometimes noted to tell victims to have been more proactive with their personal security. When this happens, victims feel less confident about themselves. They feel the weight of guilt on them. They feel that there was something that they could have done to prevent the abuse from happening. It is like being told if they were smart enough, it would not have happened.

To avoid this feeling of judgment and worthlessness, they keep to themselves and harbor the pain of abuse instead of report it to the Police. For ‘NY’, she was raped at 16. She is 26 now but has never mentioned it to her parents. A year later, when she confronted her rapist, he denied flatly. She lives with the pain every day but is unable to tell her parents nor the Police. She has no evidence. It is her word against his. After so many years, she fears that she will be accused of making up the story or at worst approving of it then. This is the result of a culture that does not promote openness, a culture that tells the woman to keep quiet.

There is often a second barrier to reporting to the Police. Fauzia’s story captures this frustration.

Her abuser who happens to be her Uncle is a senior Police officer, Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP).

Aside from that, this incident has the potential of breaking up the family because, in some many ways, her ‘Uncle’ is the financial backbone of the family. He provides capital for Fauzia’s mother’s business. He is a lifeline to this family. Assuming Fauzia reports this incident to the Police, the case will most likely not travel beyond the initial crime office. Prosecuting someone for attempted fondling can be a herculean task, not to mention a high-ranking Police officer.

I trusted him

In 2009, Dr Kofi E. Boakye of the Cambridge Institute of Criminology found that:

Acquaintances (friends of the family and neighbours) constitute most the sexual abuse offender group (54 percent), while relatives, including parents, uncles, and cousins, formed the second largest offender group (15 percent).

For many of the girls who are abused under this circumstance, they trusted their offenders, their parents trusted the culprits. It makes it more difficult under such circumstances to pin a crime on such a person. This can be seen in the case of Fauzia and her ‘Uncle’. Even if Fauzia’s mother decides to act, external family pressures will force them to settle the matter internally. Given that as I pointed out earlier this ‘Uncle’ is a high-ranking Police officer, it will be ‘suicidal’ for Fauzia’s mother to put her daughter’s interest above that of her benefactor, brother in law and bankroller.

It is a shame to our family

The concept of collective shame is deeply rooted in the idea of collectivism, which is quite strong in Africa and Asia. Within these areas, the individual’s sense of identity is subsumed within the group’s identity. When a female member of the family is sexually abused it is considered a dishonourable act. Her shame becomes the family’s shame. The action taints the honour of the family. In many instances, families would want to avoid this shame thus they avoid the Police like a plague.

That is the case of Mary. Her cousin still visits today but she cannot mention the abuse she suffered at his hands to her mother because “I'm afraid they'll think I'm making it up. I'm afraid of the shame that comes with it. I'm afraid of how my home, my family will be perceived. I don't want to see my mother sad. I'd rather deal with the pain on a personal scale than have society blow it out of proportion” she says firmly. Even if Mary reports this to her mother, who is likely to feel heartbroken, she will walk around with the tag of betraying her own family member to the Police around her neck, a tag she wants to avoid.

Let’s settle this quietly

It is little wonder that families in Ghana are increasingly settling sexual abuse at home. In 2016, the Daily Graphic reported that Victims of rape and defilement within Teshie, a suburb of Accra, and its surrounding communities, are negotiating and settling these cases at home at a cost of GH¢500.00.

In the report the Municipal Director of Health at the Ledzokuku-Krowor Municipal Assembly (LEKMA), Dr Leticia Appiah is quoted as saying “The perpetrators come home, they sit together, and they [the family and the victim] are offered GH¢500.00 to drop the case”. Although this is illegal, it is happening in several places in Ghana.

The state has no hand in this practice but it is happening and it is easy to understand why. They have too much at stake; their reputation as a family, the reputation of the young girl who often lives with the scar and the relationship they will have with the rest of the community. It is no surprise that in many towns and villages, sexual abuse, when reported, is reported to the chief or community leader. The offender and victims’ families often meet and resolve the issue with the offender getting away with a reprimand and a fine. The victims and their family go home and nurse their wounds. Most of the time, the rest of the family forgets the incident save for the occasional reminder of what happened in the past but for the victims, they relive the incident over and over and over.

Plus ça change, plus ça reste le même.

There are several institutions that provide respite for victims of sexual abuse in Ghana today. These include the Domestic Violence and Victim Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) and a litany of gender-based groups. All these, however, do not seem to have engendered a culture of openness. They assure victims of sexual abuse that they are there to protect them but many of the victims, when asked if they will report the incident had it happened today, said ‘no’. Why that is so, Esther Tawiah of the Gender Center for Empowering Development (GenCED) says largely, “the society still objectifies women, the existing social structures have not changed”. She maintains that unless these change, the problem will persist. She lays part of the blame squarely on the media in Ghana. She says the media is not sexual abuse sensitive. “For me, the press has helped to normalise these cultural factors”. There have been cases she says where the media portrays victims as opportunists, liars or bad girls who were at a place they weren’t supposed to be. “The media would often splash the faces of young girls who have been raped on their front pages. For a parent who does not want this kind of negative attention, they would rather settle the matter quietly” she adds. Esther’s frustration reflects a lack of sensitivity to the plight of abuse victims, a gap that is not only inherent in the media but the Police and the society generally. So yes, laws have been provided but as the French say Plus ça change, plus ça reste le même, the more it changes, the more it remains the same.

To address these problems, first, there must be a change in attitude towards sexual abuse. Ghanaians must adopt an open approach. It must be discussed openly within the society. Acknowledging the full extent of the problem will go a long way to encourage others to talk about it. The media has a huge role to play. They must moderate the discussion in a non-judgmental manner. Secondly, victims should be protected from pressures of family and their perpetrators. This can be achieved if a reliable private reporting process is ensured. Often, the Police is not sensitive to victims. The reporting process is cumbersome and frustrating. DOVVSU’s mandate could be expandedto fast-track reporting of domestic violence, that could help. Finally, communities must be educated. Settling sexual abuse at home does not help anybody. Perpetrators go on to re-offend, sometimes victims do not ever get closure. They live with the pain for years.

Silence is not Golden

Due to MJ’s experience in the staff common room that fateful day, she never went to the staff common room alone ever again.

Fauzia continues to do a balancing act between her ‘Uncles’ desires and her economic needs. She is determined to face up to him one of these days and damn the consequences but sadly she strongly believes her ‘Uncle’ is already sleeping with her 20-year-old sister.

For Fauzia, MJ and the other two women who suffered sexual abuse, laws have not have changed the fact they will still not report abuse today. They say factors that prevented them all these years have not been addressed and until that happens, many more will continue to suffer, in Silence. Note: Although the accounts of victims are true, pseudonyms are used in order to protect their identities.